Left out

I'm out with my friends all laughing and having "fun", but for me it's not fun at all. I feel as if I don't fit in. This was my group of friends that I trust with everything. They keep secrets from me and they lie straight to my face. They have inside jokes that I don't know what they are talking about. We all are supposed to be hanging out together. They hang out without me and have new stuff to talk about when I'm there and I don't know whats going on. They were supposed to be my friends, but every time I'd try to talk or speak up they push me out with their words. Sending me into the corner not physically, but mentally. I'd sit there in silence while they talk away. When we would go out I would be by myself or talking with the adults. They'd have so much fun together and wonder why I was quiet. They'd ask and I would say it's nothing, but in reality I didn't want to be there anymore. I wanted to feel like I was wanted somewhere not just a ghost. I soon stopped hanging out with these people and felt sad I never told anyone what I told them. They knew my whole life, well almost. Anyway the parents noticed it. They were always together and I was alone. The parents even liked me hanging out with their kid more because I was "a good influence". I soon was alone in the world.